Climbing up the mountain with you

Today was pretty special so I wanted to document it but let's backtrack to a few days ago. I am still not enjoying my Sabbath day. I had no idea how much I truly don't know how to rest. I struggled yet again on Friday trying to do something fun and just relax. I admit to you that I did put a load of laundry in knowing I would be away the next day so in my mind I was like well why don't I just make Saturday my Sabbath since I'm headed to a Ladies event with a dear friend? Do you think the Lord intended Sabbath to be two half days? I'm thinking no but I am thankful for his grace in this as I keep trying.

Saturday was a good day. We enjoyed deep conversation catching up with life, we stopped and got Starbucks, and we enjoyed the event. We even did a make and take sugar scrub and I mixed it with my hands. There was something about the brown sugar and coffee ground mixture that took me back to my childhood playing in the sand. You know what, I really like the beach. I think I will plan a trip this summer.

I played and I thought about something I enjoy doing. Yay God!

Today, I woke up a little heavy. I'm not sure if I was just processing the teachings from yesterday or still hanging onto life circumstances or all the above but I knew I needed to push myself to get to church. As I was quickly walking into the building because I was almost running late I had a quick thought to grab my flags but I brushed the thought away. I have these big beautiful flags that I love to use to express my worship unto the Lord. I have a few in different colors and I believe each color has purpose and I try to listen to the Lord's promptings on which color to use and when.

This time, I sat on the opposite side that I usually do and I believe the Lord had it orchestrated. I felt so much passion and desperation in Worship I wish I would have grabbed my flags but I was able to express myself in other ways.

I almost feel like in this season of rest the Lord is taking me back to the basics. The cross. With the years and years of me striving I'm reminded I can't be good enough. I can't perform enough. I can't be righteous enough. There is nothing in me that is good. God is good. Jesus paid it all. Jesus is the only reason I can commune with God. I don't have to clean myself up like the priests in the old testament did. I can just come as I am in childlike faith.

Who shall ascend the hill of the Lord? And who shall stand in his holy place? He who has clean hands and a pure heart, who does not lift up his soul to what is false and does not swear deceitfully. Psalm 24 3-4 ESV

Jesus is the only reason I can ascend the hill of the Lord. His blood cleanses all sin. As I keep climbing this mountain and the journey gets more intense He is the only reason I can rest. He is the only reason I have authority over any enemy trying to stop me from this journey. So as the last worship song was being sung I felt led to go kneel at the stairs that go up to the stage. I kneeled there for awhile just gazing and following along to the lyrics. I realized in this moment I was resting and letting go of things for another major climb up the mountain. When it was time to climb some more I started what I am going to call a prophetic dance. It was me and the Lord in this moment. The room full of people faded and it was just us. As I slowly lifted my left foot to the first step I felt the light of the Lord shine upon me and it became an adventure with Him. I felt Him with every movement. I was letting go of things so I could continue to climb higher without the heavy weight. At first I held onto the railing for support while I was strengthened with courage and then I left go of the railing and was having fun freely climbing this mountain with the Lord. I have to say this has been probably my favorite encounter yet. It was fun and adventurous. I remember laughing and smile and having a blast. I have no dance background yet every movement felt so full of purpose. Maybe it looked ridiculous to anyone watching but for once I don't care. It was the most beautiful moment for me. Without sounding too dramatic it felt life giving and life changing doing this prophetic act. There's a chance I could quite possibly be sore tomorrow because my body doesn't move that way often but it's given me a new purpose. Now I'm like Lord, I desire to dance on my Sabbath days. Maybe take lessons or just find free YouTube videos on stretching and movement. It's given me a deeper desire for health and wellness and to really take care of this body of mine to be able to do these things (like mountain climb) even as my body gets older on this earth.

I have a feeling I am stepping into a grand adventure with a new mindset. I have a feeling the next Sabbath is going to be really fun.