So I throw up my hands and praise you again

I grew up in a church culture that did not allow dancing and there was absolutely no hands being raised. Infact I remember feeling strange if I saw a visitor come in and raise their hands. I remember a woman with a charasmatic background start to come to the church when I was maybe a teenager possibly younger I'm not sure and at the moment I am not even recalling her name. She would sway back and forth and raise her hands. She was talked about within the church as odd and even though I felt uncomfortable watching her there was this curiosity and almost a longing that I wanted what she had. I wish I could sit down and talk with her now but I think she has since passed away.

She wasn't odd at all she was free. Infact I now think if you are not expressing yourself freely then you are bound to a religious spirit and fear of man's judgment. I think she had such a deep gratitude and love for her Heavenly Father that she couldn't help but express it in her worship.If I remember correctly I even feel like she had quite the testimony of what God had done in her life.

This morning as I was trying to think of content to create for social media I was looking up verses on gratitude. I came across these particular verses:

7 Then on that day David first entrusted to Asaph and his relatives to give thanks to the Lord [as their chief task].

Psalm of Thanksgiving

8 O give thanks to the Lord, call on His name;Make His deeds known among the peoples.

Did you notice this amplified version has as their chief task. It was a chief task to give thanks to the Lord. The Hebrew word for thanks in this verse is Yadah. It's more than the act of giving thanks it's also acknowledging and confessing God's character and deeds. Once you start confessing that outloud in company of other people there is an energy released (don't get caught up that this is New Age talk right here). But think about it. When you are at a football game there is a certain energy ok fine I'll use the word excitement so we can move on from the fear of the New Age movement. There is great excitement that is contagious. The band going, the cheerleaders, the mascots. People raising their hands, jumping up and down.

BUT WE CAN'T DO THAT IN CHURCH????

Are you kidding me right now?

How much more has our God done for us?

That's enough to shake the entire earth with our praise! Could you imagine?

I'm about to flip some tables right now I am getting righteously angry.

I hate religion.

Ok.. that was a pretty harsh statement and I have to be careful not to.... wait no... I'm done being careful. I HATE RELIGION!! Sometimes I am so over western world Christianity. And when I say that I humbly admit that I am so over myself. I don't say that out of self hatred. I say that with the fear of the Lord acknowledging that apart from Him I am nothing. Search my heart Oh God! I say that in humility feeling repentant for the days I am so deep in the pit of despair. The days when I face life and relationships with a mindset that feels almost like that of a victim. I am not a victim I am a victor in Christ Jesus!

Am I worshipping myself more? I have walked into church so many Sundays so heavy from the week because I feel like there has been no breakthrough in my life.

What about the miracle that I am still living? What about the miracle of salvation? Do I know God's character at all? I spend so much "energy" on complaining that it hardens my heart to the blessings. Have I been blinded to the reality of Jesus?

Oh God, I repent. I repent and renounce a religious spirit. I break agreement with fear, self righteousness, shame, judgement, gossip, condemnation. complaining.. I am so sorry for judging other people's expression of worship. I am so sorry for living in fear of New Age or any other religion. I repent for any idolatry it is written that we are to have no other gods so I crush those things I have placed above you. God I acknowledge your character. I repent for my complaining ungrateful heart and I confess that you are so full of mercy and love for your church. I ask for a deeper revelation of your love and a deeper revelation of your character. I ask that I will know how high how wide how deep your love is for me. I ask that I will have a spirit of wisdom and revelation into the knowledge of you and that I will know the hope of my calling in Christ Jesus. I forgive. I forgive myself and I forgive the church. Lord, I release the church to you. I release any bitterness or resentment I have for any false doctrines I have been taught throughout my Christian life. Lord, I forgive every church leader and Sunday School teacher. Lord they were only passing on what they knew. I am sorry for harboring any frustration. God I ask that you deal with the religious spirit in the region and territory where I live. Open the eyes of our hearts, Lord.

You are so good. Your goodness follows me all the days of my life. I want to dwell in your house forever. I repent for quenching Holy Spirit with complaining. Today is a new day to REJOICE and be glad! I receive your healing and loving kindness. I receive your truth. Wash me in your word oh Lord. I have to know you in a new way. Make your word come alive in my heart. IN JESUS NAME!

I throw up my hands and praise you again and again.